Insert Witty Title Here
by Atashi Desu
Summary: All right, summary time. So, there's this girl, who goes to Japan, and watches a cursed video. All the smart people who have actually watched this movie know what's gonna happen. Or do they? Hmm... I've had too many falls on my head, so don't blame me!
1. Chapter 1

A

_A.N._ _All right, this is my first story, so please don't go easy on me. If you like it, tell me, if you hate it, tell me. If you think I'm ugly, go on and tell me. I was really bored, and my friend and I came up with this idea. So, if it totally sucks, you can go ahead and blame him! Yeah. Read on, and whatnot. _

_Disclaimer: I honestly don't know why we need one of these things. If I owned the Ring/Ring Two/Ringu, does anybody really think I'd be writing about it on a fanfiction site? No! I'd be out there making a Ring Three or something! _

**Chapter 1**

Saige was a brilliant teenager. She enjoyed solving puzzles. She was also very lucky. One day, she won an all-expenses-paid trip to Japan. She eagerly accepted.

In Japan, Saige decided to do as many fun things as she could think of. The first thing that came to mind was to rent a Japanese video! Wandering the aisles of the video store, she came upon a movie she thought looked good.

_hmm... this looks good._ She thought. She rented the movie and went to the cabin to watch it. With popcorn and a pillow, she was ready to enjoy a video. She stuck the tape in and watched it. At first, it was just a bunch of static, followed bya whole bunch of seemingly random scenes flashing across the screen. Then it ended.

"Well, that was lame." She said out loud. Suddenly, the phone rang. So, like any normal person would do, Saige answered it.

"Hello?"

"Nana yoobi...!" A scratchy voice said over the phone, then hung up.

"When I look that up, it had better not be a swear word!" She yelled into the phone, then ran off to Google it. It meant seven days.

Five days later, Saige went home. Two days after that , she noticed that it had been exactly seven days since the creepy voice had told her she had seven days. Saige had no idea what she had seven days to do, but she really didn't care.

Suddenly, the television in her room flickered to life.

"Umm... okay." Saige said, using the remote to turn it off. It just came back on again. Then, a picture of a well appeared. Saige checked the VHS player, but nothing was in there. "Huh." She said to herself. "That's odd. I wonder if this is any good." A creepy Japanese girl with really, really, really long black hair hanging over her face came out of the well and started walking toward the camera.

_That girl needs help walking_. Saige thought. _She looks kinda drunk._ Then the girl came through the TV screen. "What the–!" Siage said, The creepy girl started crawling toward her.

"Excuse me," Saige said "But I couldn't help noticing that you're Japanese." The girl stopped. Never had anyone _addressed _her when she came for them! She nodded. "Yeah, I thought so. Well, do you have a passport? Because you do need one in order to come into the United States."

"Anoo..." The scratchy voice of the psycho girl started to say, before Saige stopped her.

"I'm sorry, but I can't understand you." She said. The creepy girl nodded, and suddenly subtitles appeared under her. "That's better!" Saige smiled, and the girl continued.

"I guess I don't have one" The subtitles said as she spoke. "I'll, uh, go get one." She turned and walked back towards the television. "Seven _more_ days!" She called over her shoulder.

Saige smiled at her. "Okay!" She said. "Oh, wait!" The creepy girl stopped and looked at her, completely shocked. "What's your name?"

"Sadako." She replied. "Sadako." Said the subtitles. Then she went back in the well and the TV turned off.

"What an odd girl." Saige said to herself as she turned off the light and climbed into bed. "I think she wanted to kill me!" Then she went to sleep. Much faster than I can ever manage, by the way!

_A.N. And a big thank you to Phish Tacko for pointing out that it is, in fact, "Sadako", not "Sadoka". I had watched that movie once ages ago, so yeah..._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_A.N. Yay, another chapter! If this also sucks, it's because I am coffee deprived. Either that, or I'm just not funny. I'd prefer the former. Woot!_

_Disclaimer: If you haven't figured out by now that no one on this site (me included ) owns The Ring/Ring Two/Ringu, then there's no hope for the human race. Not that there's a lot as it is._

Remember Saige, from the first chapter? Yeah, she's still a brilliant girl. And lucky. And the main character of this story. It's also been seven day's since we last saw her. She's sitting on her bed, staring at the television, because she remembers that seven days ago, Sadoka promised to come back in seven days, which would be today.

The TV flickered to life, all static-y and white noise-y. Then the well popped up, and Sadako's hair came over the edge, followed by her body. She stumbled toward the screen again, just like lsat time. This time, however, she reached down her shirt and pulled out a wallet, just like an old lady might do. Out of that wallet, she pulled a passport. Saige got up and went to stand beside the TV.

Sadako began crawling out of the television, and just when she got her body above the shoulders out, saige pulled the plug on the television. The screen went black, and the front half of Sadako fell to the ground.

"Eww!" Saige said, poking the half-body with a stick that just happened to be nearby. It wasn't alive, shockingly enough. Because she didn't know how she was supposed to explain half a body to her parents, she turned the TV back on and shoved Sadako's remains back in it.

"There we go!" Saige said, turning out the light and returning to her bed. The last thing she thought before falling asleep (still faster than I could ever manage) was _At least this is over now, and will never happen again. Boy am I glad I'm lucky!_

_**The Next Morning**_

Saige woke up happy. She was still alive, gosh darnit, and she could be happy all she wanted! She went downstairs, got the mail, and went back inside, like most people do after getting the mail.

"Bills, junk mail, junk mail, Dad's, junk mail, Mom's, junk mail, bills, junk mail, Ooh! Mine!" Saige said, dropping all the unimportant, not-her's mail on the dining room table and took her small package (that for some reason came with the morning mail and not with the UPS truck in the afternoon) up to her room to enjoy.

She opened it up and found a blank tape. _Hmm..._ She thought. _I wonder what this is about. No return address. Odd. Let's just see what it is, shall we?_ For some reason, she was thinking of herself as multiple people, and in the third person, but it's okay, because she was brilliant, and brilliant people are allowed to be mildly insane. She popped the tape in the VCR, because she was too strange to buy the DVD player like all the normal people.

There was static on the screen, then there was a bunch of random scenes before it returned to static. She turned off the television just as the phone was ringing. She picked it up, and a scratchy voice (different than the other scratchy voice) said "Seven days!" Before hanging up. By this point, I'm starting to seriously wonder if Saige really is brilliant, or if she's just stupid and insane enough to pass as brilliant.

Saige stood there a few minutes, remembered she needed to hang up the phone, did so, and then stood there a while longer. "Well," She said, speaking to herself again. "That sucks!" Then she went to school and commenced attempting to enjoy her last week. Though, being a minor required to go to school by the law, it wasn't all that enjoyable.


	3. Chapter 3

1_A.N. Yay! I got reviews, and no one threatened to kill me! Though, without any flames, I'm gonna have a hard time at my hot dog roast for the All Star game... But Yay! _

_Disclaimer: Do we need one of these on every chapter? Because that's just silly. But that's what I've seen everyone else do, so, might as well conform. Not mine. Though I do own a box or Energizer betteries, but I guass that doesn't count, does it?_

**Chapter 3**

So, it's been seven days since Saige managed to watch _another_ evil tape with a psychotic girl who wants to kill her. Being brilliant, she decided to not be near her television.

_How's _this_ psycho murderer going to murder me if she can't come out of a TV? _She thought to herself, driving to a remote cabin in the woods in the car she can somehow own and drive, even though she's not eighteen yet. But it's okay, because, as the main character of the story, and being very lucky, she can't get in trouble for it. That would just be really boring. Anyhoo, back to Saige's brilliant thoughts. _That's right, she can't! Oh yeah, I rule!_

Once she arrived at this random cabin her that was randomly abandoned, Saige started about getting settled in. She made a lovely meal, and ate it in front of the fireplace. She was just getting ready to go to bed (without a psycho dead girl in sight) when she heard the sound of a television turning on, followed by static.

"What the–!" She started to her feet and followed the sound to a small, nearly-hidden cupboard under the counter. Opening it, she found a mini-television, complete with an antennae that got basic cable and Energizer batteries (so it can keep going and going, of course!). "Oh, come on!" Saige cried as the well popped up ( a different well than last time, seeing as how it's a different dead girl).

The dead girl crawled out of the well and started staggering toward the screen, just like the other one. _They must be related._ Saige thought to herself as she backed away from the evil, evil TV. As it turns out, when you think you're about to die, you often start thinking of anything you can. Saige's thought precess went something like this. Well, actually it went exactly like this:

_If I ever survive all these psycho TV killers, I'll break every TV I see. I will be permanently scarred! Why did she make a video? Video's are fast becoming obsolete. She should make a DVD. Wait, what am I thinking? I don't want her to make something people are even more likely to watch!_ _Gosh dangit, why does this girl seem to take so long? Why is the grass blue and the sky green?_

At this point, the second dead television-dwelling maniac reached the screen and started coming through, which (thankfully for you poor readers) ended Saige's I'm-gonna-die-really-soon thoughts. Unfortunately for the girl, the screen was too small for her to come out of. Her head got stuck, and when she tried to pull back, it wouldn't budge.

"Hey!" She said. "Let me go! Stupid infernal contraption!" Saige started laughing, realizing that she wasn't going to die, and so all her thoughts had been wasted. The girl looked at her, glared, and said "Pull me out or push me back, but don't just stand there laughing! I'm Samara by the way." Saige weighed her options, decided it was inhumane to leave a poor, already obviously angry dead girl's head just stuck there, and she pushed her back into the televison.

"Ow!" Samara shouted through the glass. "I'm gonna come out there and kill you in seven more days for that!" Then she returned to the well, holding her head and muttering about Aspirin. Saige stared at the screen awhile, then sighed.

_Blast me and my stupid morals. I should've just left her there._ She then went back home, because obviously nothing was going tocome after her for the rest of the week, and hiding in a cabin was not working. She'd just play it by ear next time and hope her luck worked in her favor.


	4. Chapter 4

1_A.N. Well, let's get straight to the point. I like reviews. I really like nitpicking reviews telling me the slightest details that I did wrong. And getting flames is fun. You can laugh at them while roasting weenies! So, to say it simply: Review! Make me happy!_

_Disclaimer: Let me check. Nope, still not owning The Ring/Ring Two/Ringu. Darn._

**Chapter 4**

So, seven days ago, the brilliant, lucky Saige got seven _more_ days in which to live. Now, seven days later, she has used those seven days and now waits for Samara, who she met seven days ago. Does any other person think that seven is just a strange number? Yeah.

Saige's television was already on, static on the screen. Turning it off did nothing, and Saige thought that maybe, if she made it easier on Samara, she might decide she was nice enough to not kill.

Suddenly, the image on the screen changed to the well. _You know, I'm really getting tired of wells._ Saige thought with a grimace. Samara crawled out of the well and began walking toward her, and Saige's hopes of getting it easy were dashed.

Saige glared at the television and, grabbing a crowbar so conveniently placed near her bed, she smashed the screen. It split into several smaller pieces, not quite shattering. The well and Samara showed very small in each piece. "Gosh Dangit!" Saige said, because this is story is not rated for language. The Samara's continued to some at her. Then they reached the screen. What happened next was a complete shock to Saige.

Hundreds of tiny Samaras came out of the pieces of the busted TV screen. "Well, I'll be darned!" Saige said out loud. The tiny Samaras began running in circles. They were obviously shocked, too. One glared at Saige, but she was too small to do her any damage. This scared all the Samaras to no and, as they began running around faster, some of them running into each other.

Laughing, Saige left the room to go to school. The Samaras seemed to notice that their victim was leaving, and, figuring that they should at least continue trying to do something, they followed her down the stairs and out into the sunlight. Saige looked behind her and noticed the tiny dead girls following her onto the driveway.

A slightly psychotic smile spread across her face, and she pulled something out of her backpack. A very powerful magnifying glass. She focused the sunlight onto the nearest Samara, and she promptly lit on fire, running in circles before burning to nothing. The other Samaras noticed this, looked at Saige, and began running in circles screaming. Saige then set about lighting them all on fire like a mean kid on an anthill.

Some of the Samaras remembered the Stop, Drop, and Roll rule, but they were just lit on fire again. Finally, there was just one Samara left. Saige scooped her up, went back inside, and stuck her in a glass aquarium that used to be used for fish before they all died. Now it kept a much more interesting pet!

Whistling, Saige set off for school, vowing to never watch a video again.

_A.N. Well, I guess that's it. Unless any of you know of another cursed video. It's kinda hard to have more people attack Saige when there are no more. Well, right below this little note thingy, there's this miraculous button. It_ _says "review". (Your supposed to push it)_


End file.
